It’s that time of the year again when Facebook & Twitter’s limits (as well as non-NBA fans’ patience regarding these updates) will be tested by the most exciting phase in the professional basketball season; when every misstep by the Miami Heat will be overblown by both the media and fans, when storylines will be fabricated and recanted in 140 characters or less, and fan trash talking will influence even the most pedestrian of fans to chime in. Yes, here come the playoffs (finally). But enough of this intro for what basketball fans (which you are if you’re reading this) already know, let’s get to what this aspiring sports scribe feels, thinks, and hopes is going to happen.
The East
To be honest, it would take a lot of shit going down for the Celtics, the Bulls, and the mighty Heat to not make it to the Eastern Conference’s final four. The Bulls might lose one game to the Sixers, if that. Orlando knocking off Indy? Forget about it. Not after all the Dwight drama (that was both absurd and ultimately boring anyway) dragged on the whole season, and certainly not after the main proponent of all that brouhaha decided to have back surgery just before the playoffs. The Boston-ATL tiff might get interesting, but unless Rondo breaks another elbow and has to play one-armed again this post-season, the Hawks will remain the most consistent Eastern Conference title pretender this millennium.
Miami-NYK might just be the most intriguing matchup in the East’s 1st round, if nothing but for the MSG crowd that will go absolutely apeshit with anything the Knicks do on the positive. But truthfully, there’s a ton of things that need to go right for the Knicks to make this competitive. (1) Melo NEEDS to keep on this tear he’s been at for the past month or so. There’s just no way they can even threaten the Heat if they count on Novak, J.R. Smith, and Shumpert ballin’ out of their minds. Which brings me to --- (2) The Knicks need these three players (and Fields, and Baron Davis, and whoever the hell else they play) to ball out of their minds along with the Melo beasting. Amare could be Amare (there, but not really, although at least physically there), but Melo and the New York bombers need to connect every single game before the Heat wins four. (3) The LeBron yearly. Yep, you know what it is. If they’re actually going to pull this off, LeBron has to go full on LBJ classic postseason form. Laughable second halves, chronic case of the hot potato, and his assassin-like penchant for the game winning pass. There’s no way the Knicks win if LBJ plays like he has all year. None.
So with my crystal bong, I see a Bulls-Celtics, Heat-Pacers second round. Here’s where it gets tough…or not. These two series could be ultra-competitive, but just as easily could wind up as ho-hum five-gamers for the higher seeds. Bill Simmons (an ardent Celtic fan, and the sportswriter I wish to morph into somehow) has written real feasible pieces on why and how the Celtics could realistically come out of the East. From the renaissance of both Paul Pierce and Kevin Garnett to the Celts showing that familiar ’08 swagger late in the season to the emergence of a great perimeter defender who can knock down shots in Avery Bradley (a must if you’re going to take down either Miami or Chicago), there are valid points to the Boston argument. He also mentioned that even during another impressive regular season run, the Miami Heat still haven’t really distinguished a proper team identity yet. Yes, they can create TO’s with their swarming defense, and nobody (‘cept maybe for the Thunder) run the break better, but Simmons points out that through the course of the game, the Heat’s game plan still appears to be Wade and LeBron just taking turns. They’re that talented that they can get away with it all the way to a title, but that’s just not how championships are generally designed. But I’m talking about the Celtics chances about the Bulls, so I digress…for now.
I haven’t seen enough of Chicago to really know how much they’ve improved from last season. I do know Rose is hurt. I don’t know if he has a gigantic heart to replicate his magnificence last season this postseason. I know the Bulls have developed more of arsenal with JLIII, C.J. Miles, Taj Gibson, Rip (if he manages not to decay in the 1st round) and Deng’s great season so far. I don’t know if any of those guys can create shots when the going gets really tough in the playoffs, and when either Wade or LeBron is stuck to their chests (The way I keep talking about the Heat when I’m trying to talk about two other teams should just stop me right now).
Pacers are good and they’ve improved and matured from last year, blah-blah-blah..Heat. So here’s what I know, either the Celtics or the Bulls are facing the Heat in the ECF. Here’s probably the last thing I know about the ECF: If LeBron does not do LeBron like things in the playoffs, they see the Finals for the second year in the row. Wow. It took me 874 words before I got to that. What the fuck am I doing?
Let me try that approach for the West…
Spurs-Jazz…Spurs in 5 at the most…..Oh shit. I don’t think it can work like that in the West. Six teams can realistically come out of the West (SAS, OKC, LAL, DAL, MEM, LAC). Good luck trying to analyze those permutations. Lemme just run through it real quick:
The Thunder and the Mavs series, to me, is only intriguing because of one thing: championship experience. At no point of the regular season have the Mavs looked like they did during last year’s title run. Although this is me being a Laker fan who desperately wants (hopes & prays for) someone else to beat the Thunder for them,…well, that’s it, really. I truthfully don’t think the Mavs have what it takes to knock off OKC, but I really, really hope they do…or at least concuss a few players while trying to (I keeed).
Lakers-Nuggets should be fun, because the Nuggets are fun to watch. Do I think they can push the Lakers to seven games? Probably not. Six? Maybe. As a purple blooded Laker fan, do I have any worries coming in to this series. Fuck.No. You know the drill, Lakers with too much size, experience, Kobe…so that’s that. Great season Nuggs, but yea.
Ok. This is the series I do not know shit about. Grizz-Clips? Who knows what craziness can happen. I think I just came up with a couple of things: (1) This will be fun. (2) Twitter will explode because of a death by massive facial. Grab a beer (if you don’t have a day job & can watch the playoffs from home), sit back, and enjoy this crazy series.
So what happens then? My crystal bong cannot overcome my love for the Lakers, so while my basketball instincts tell me OKC is a tough, tough out in the West, my fandom makes me write that a few other teams have a chance. You gotta’ understand that, right?
Boston-LA for all the marbles. Ha!
The East
To be honest, it would take a lot of shit going down for the Celtics, the Bulls, and the mighty Heat to not make it to the Eastern Conference’s final four. The Bulls might lose one game to the Sixers, if that. Orlando knocking off Indy? Forget about it. Not after all the Dwight drama (that was both absurd and ultimately boring anyway) dragged on the whole season, and certainly not after the main proponent of all that brouhaha decided to have back surgery just before the playoffs. The Boston-ATL tiff might get interesting, but unless Rondo breaks another elbow and has to play one-armed again this post-season, the Hawks will remain the most consistent Eastern Conference title pretender this millennium.
Miami-NYK might just be the most intriguing matchup in the East’s 1st round, if nothing but for the MSG crowd that will go absolutely apeshit with anything the Knicks do on the positive. But truthfully, there’s a ton of things that need to go right for the Knicks to make this competitive. (1) Melo NEEDS to keep on this tear he’s been at for the past month or so. There’s just no way they can even threaten the Heat if they count on Novak, J.R. Smith, and Shumpert ballin’ out of their minds. Which brings me to --- (2) The Knicks need these three players (and Fields, and Baron Davis, and whoever the hell else they play) to ball out of their minds along with the Melo beasting. Amare could be Amare (there, but not really, although at least physically there), but Melo and the New York bombers need to connect every single game before the Heat wins four. (3) The LeBron yearly. Yep, you know what it is. If they’re actually going to pull this off, LeBron has to go full on LBJ classic postseason form. Laughable second halves, chronic case of the hot potato, and his assassin-like penchant for the game winning pass. There’s no way the Knicks win if LBJ plays like he has all year. None.
So with my crystal bong, I see a Bulls-Celtics, Heat-Pacers second round. Here’s where it gets tough…or not. These two series could be ultra-competitive, but just as easily could wind up as ho-hum five-gamers for the higher seeds. Bill Simmons (an ardent Celtic fan, and the sportswriter I wish to morph into somehow) has written real feasible pieces on why and how the Celtics could realistically come out of the East. From the renaissance of both Paul Pierce and Kevin Garnett to the Celts showing that familiar ’08 swagger late in the season to the emergence of a great perimeter defender who can knock down shots in Avery Bradley (a must if you’re going to take down either Miami or Chicago), there are valid points to the Boston argument. He also mentioned that even during another impressive regular season run, the Miami Heat still haven’t really distinguished a proper team identity yet. Yes, they can create TO’s with their swarming defense, and nobody (‘cept maybe for the Thunder) run the break better, but Simmons points out that through the course of the game, the Heat’s game plan still appears to be Wade and LeBron just taking turns. They’re that talented that they can get away with it all the way to a title, but that’s just not how championships are generally designed. But I’m talking about the Celtics chances about the Bulls, so I digress…for now.
I haven’t seen enough of Chicago to really know how much they’ve improved from last season. I do know Rose is hurt. I don’t know if he has a gigantic heart to replicate his magnificence last season this postseason. I know the Bulls have developed more of arsenal with JLIII, C.J. Miles, Taj Gibson, Rip (if he manages not to decay in the 1st round) and Deng’s great season so far. I don’t know if any of those guys can create shots when the going gets really tough in the playoffs, and when either Wade or LeBron is stuck to their chests (The way I keep talking about the Heat when I’m trying to talk about two other teams should just stop me right now).
Pacers are good and they’ve improved and matured from last year, blah-blah-blah..Heat. So here’s what I know, either the Celtics or the Bulls are facing the Heat in the ECF. Here’s probably the last thing I know about the ECF: If LeBron does not do LeBron like things in the playoffs, they see the Finals for the second year in the row. Wow. It took me 874 words before I got to that. What the fuck am I doing?
Let me try that approach for the West…
Spurs-Jazz…Spurs in 5 at the most…..Oh shit. I don’t think it can work like that in the West. Six teams can realistically come out of the West (SAS, OKC, LAL, DAL, MEM, LAC). Good luck trying to analyze those permutations. Lemme just run through it real quick:
The Thunder and the Mavs series, to me, is only intriguing because of one thing: championship experience. At no point of the regular season have the Mavs looked like they did during last year’s title run. Although this is me being a Laker fan who desperately wants (hopes & prays for) someone else to beat the Thunder for them,…well, that’s it, really. I truthfully don’t think the Mavs have what it takes to knock off OKC, but I really, really hope they do…or at least concuss a few players while trying to (I keeed).
Lakers-Nuggets should be fun, because the Nuggets are fun to watch. Do I think they can push the Lakers to seven games? Probably not. Six? Maybe. As a purple blooded Laker fan, do I have any worries coming in to this series. Fuck.No. You know the drill, Lakers with too much size, experience, Kobe…so that’s that. Great season Nuggs, but yea.
Ok. This is the series I do not know shit about. Grizz-Clips? Who knows what craziness can happen. I think I just came up with a couple of things: (1) This will be fun. (2) Twitter will explode because of a death by massive facial. Grab a beer (if you don’t have a day job & can watch the playoffs from home), sit back, and enjoy this crazy series.
So what happens then? My crystal bong cannot overcome my love for the Lakers, so while my basketball instincts tell me OKC is a tough, tough out in the West, my fandom makes me write that a few other teams have a chance. You gotta’ understand that, right?
Boston-LA for all the marbles. Ha!
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